Mwahahah!
Darn those whistleblowers! No matter how hard you scrub, you can never get their blood out of your clothes. What's that you say? Blood? Oh yes, the torture started out innocently enough, no blood or broken bones -- just waterboarding and stress positions. But that became boring pretty fast, so you decided to try some old-fashioned methods involving hooks and spikes. The President likes what you're doing too. In fact, he wants to see a big pile of skulls the next time he visits.
Congratulations, you are...
